Sunday, April 29, 2012


What a week it has been...
And I am glad it is over.
Did you ever have a few days where you feel so "off" that you wonder when you'll be "on" again?
Parenting a 33 month old took its toll on me this week. I felt impatient, overwhelmed, upset, disappointed, and maybe even helpless.
It's combination of things....
Being full force smacked in the face in the middle of the night when I won't nurse him...
Screaming at the table...
Destroying things in our house..
Hitting the other children..
Testing the boundaries over and over again.
I'm exhausted and looking for a way to really relax and get over this hump. I've found myself saying "NO!" and using far too many words out of my own frustration...and I see the effect it has on his behavior.
I've been watching him sleep and savoring how sweet his face looks; totally at peace. 
I'm trying to recall goodness and happiness...and the understanding that all of this will be a distant memory one day.
I found this earlier this afternoon and it made me think...

Lotte Time Lapse: Birth to 12 years in 2 min. 45. from Frans Hofmeester on Vimeo.

Please do watch this clip. It made my heart beat a little bit faster and I'm feeling lost in the wonder of it all....
I need to find my way through all of this muck...
Here I go.


  1. I so relate. This week my 8yo son has been back to full force testing every ounce of my parenting strength, and it has been so tough. Especially because my first instinct, truthfully, is to be punitive and I am surrounded by people who think punishment and shunning and shouting is called for. But for me, finding ways to connect with the baby him helps - tickling, singing, playing little physical games, laughing with him, doing all I can to bring him back to normality, just as I did when he was a baby and needed my help to regulate. (Because although I would guess self-regulation is a more normal aspect of most 8 year olds, it can't be for him when he has lost control) Good luck to you and may God bless you in your parenting this coming week Lucy x

  2. I don't have anything of much advice to say, save for (((hugs))) this too shall pass. x

  3. Oh Sweetie ! take it from me with 2 now 12 and 14 years old .... i say this with much longing for the muck .... its some of the best stuff ! lol .... that is not to minimize that what you and your dear family are trying to accomplish... it can be a monumental task ;) however -- once you get through it think of the wisdom and independence and the confidence that you will have built in each other ...even more than you already have ! Good for you ... your dear little boy is in wonderful, and most importantly, gentle hands ... bloggy hugs for both of you :)

  4. Be patient with yourself. Just that. And figure out some time to have alone, without your little one. Refreshment for you and time away from him will do wonders.

    But you know all this. :)

  5. Parenting is hard. This will pass. Something else will challenge you and that will pass too. Some relief will come, and it'll pass. It's difficult when the challenges persist over time. I've been really struggling in my parenting. My little one has been under sleeping for months and I have tried a million things to help and I feel discouraged and let down and even angry when he just can't/won't sleep. And I have months of undersleeping as does my child, and it becomes a bad behavior struggle on both sides. When I start to feel like "all this has to stop and it has to stop now" and I assert my anger and try to stop and change and fix everything with every ounce of my being, I realize that I am using force and making everything worse. It's the ultimate act of letting go, even when you are hurting on every level of your being. And as inspiring as Waldorf books are, really Pema Chodron has been my biggest help in parenting a spirited boy, especially in her books: When Things Fall Apart and Choosing Peace in Times of War. I love this quote by Frederick Douglas "It is easier to build strong children than it is to repair broken men." Keep loving that boy and it will guide him and heal him. Keep connected to your love for him and to his angel and you'll find your way through with love. Practice meeting war with love. It will be one of the hardest things you'll have to do. Life has a way of bringing us things we don't think we can do but have to do. I am working on that right along with you. all my best, Elizabeth

  6. Oh here exactly the same with my boy who is 34 months. It's hard but this too shall pass. Lots of hugs from mama to mama.

  7. Oh dearest. . . . huge hugs. It certainly is not easy at all- and though some things get easier, others get harder. Thankfully, they seem to go in stages where there are easier periods, a breath before another difficult stage. It is so hard to not say no, to not be frustrated. We are people too, and we're tired! My 21 month old just came out of a very hard stage- much screaming, biting, frustration. He has been a much calmer self lately. Baby W. will too.
    You try to be easy on yourself, Mama.
    Much love to you, Mel

  8. Oh- I had to come back and say something, which occured to me later- my daughter is eleven now, and until she was about 4, she was extremely difficult. She was highly sensitive, a screamer, hitter, etc. I could not transition with her ever (whether to go somewhere, to have dinner, to take a bath), it was hard to take her places, hard to have play dates with her. I didn't know how she'd react to company- sometimes she'd yell and cry the whole time, sometimes she'd hide, sometimes she was fine. I remember feeling like I was walking on pins and needles with her all the time, she was so unpredictable and I spent so much of my time trying to predict how she'd react to things, to try to prevent her mood swings and outbursts.
    My point in telling you this, is that she is now eleven. And I forget she was even like this as a toddler. She is so sweet and mild and peaceful now. But I sure worried at the time.
    All that I did was ride through it the best I could, doing the best I could. Helping her as I could, trying to be patient. And it passed, and it is a distant memory now.
    Love, Mel

  9. Kids really do their best to make our lives "funner"...dont they?
    My daughter went to one of these faces couple of years ago(now she is 4)and we decided she may need a change of her routine, something that she can do without mommy or daddy, like "her own thing" to do.
    So we signed her up for ballet and it totally helped, she seemed happier and "bigger" . I think just like us we need our own space(I like to sew,knit,needle felting..etc on my own time) I suppose she may feel the same way sometimes. Since then every saturday morning we take her to ballet and she still loves it and gives her the chance to show us what she learned in class...makes her feel a happy kid.
    I am not saying this will work with your little one,but maybw swimming lesson, soccer,music ..etc may help to make him feel motivated.

  10. Age three has been the most difficult with both of my older boys. You are inching your way into age three--a time when independence and need come crashing together. For my older son, age four brought so much more understanding and peace. The shift was sudden enough to feel like magic. I'm hoping that the same is true for our second boy who will turn four in July. I'm already seeing some positive changes. I'm praying for you and W.

  11. It will get so much easier I promise :)
    Two of my girls are particularly sensitive to outside stimuli. Before the age of four they were very attached to the point of being clingy and my five year old is still very reactive. Totally different to my three more "passive" girls.
    Yet my two more "difficult" girls have taught me so much about myself and brought so much vibrancy and light to my life.
    As they have matured and settled things have got so much easier. They will for you too.
    hugs, suzy.

  12. This video really does help to put it all in perspective (kids I mean)...thanks for sharing that.

    And you are doing an amazing job with Wesley. You are an amazing parent! It is just such a challenging time, turning three...he becomes more and more amazing each day, and you are the reason for it!!

    Much love to you as you trek through these challenging times though. I know it's so tough!! I do feel your pain, as we are struggling with setting boundaries too in a proper and healthy way. I'm here for ya buddy!


  13. Just wanted to send some hugs your way (((<3))) I am right there with you as my youngest will be 3 next month. Last night, she had a full blown tantrum at 3 in the morning, ugh. Not to mention two of my other kiddos are going through big developmental changes which is resulting in less than desirable behavior. Experience tells there isn't much to be done but ride it out and know that his behavior now does not define who he is (or will be) as a person. Just some of the pains of growing up! AND there are some good times ahead!!!

  14. it is amazing how these challenging stages come and go, how our little ones grow through them. we have certainly gone/are going through these sorts of things with our children, and looking back a year i can't believe how much has changed. it has helped me so much, with eli getting close to two, to see how emma came through her rocky time to a more peaceful place on the other side. it's also helped to realize how natural a part of childhood all these changes are, and how they keep transforming. life is so beautiful and mysterious! keep breathing, and be kind and patient with yourself.

  15. Great video! It's amazing how fast they grow. I so understand tho where you're at. Our sons are about the same age and my Owen has revved it up too! I wonder where the sweetness went? I do remember with my first though that it does come back thankfully. He is testing all boundaries and making sure Mom is present. Love to you.

  16. I found your lovely blog yesterday and had to share this video (and you with a link!) today. Thank you for sharing this. I've been thinking of your painting solutions all day today! I'd love to make your paint holders. Keep up the nice work.

    If you are interest, here's a link to how I used your video. Thank you!

  17. wow -- that clip is amazing -- and always such a good good reminder of how real life so often feels like a time lapse!


I love to hear from you! I read and appreciate all feedback.. Thanks for stopping by!